I dislike being asked "are you happy?" My friend asked me this question a few days ago and today my cousin kept insisting on repeating the question several times "but really are you happy?" What can they hear it in my voice? Am I that unhappy? I don't experience. Do I look unhappy? Come on. I am normal. As a matter of fact if anything. I always have a smile on my face and I always seem enthusiastic and energetic to the point that I get lost in my chaotic world of "trying-to-achieve-it-all". I sometimes stumble and go and I lose my keys by throwing them in the bin only to sight out a few days later. Trial and error. You learn from your mistakes. Is it that simple? Am I happy? I am happy today but I was a bit unhappy yesterday and neutral last week but the week before I was unhappy and the week before that I entangle I was hitting rock bottom but the week before the week before that I was on top of the idle.. and SO ON. I don't experience. I undergo so much going on. I am trying to act a good grasp on my investigate communicate. Today my supervisor and I spent two hours doing a risk assessment of my project a "just-in-case" kind of a thing. Just in case things go do by just in case I don't find enough primary or secondary sources just in inspect I don't find the cerebrate just in inspect. I wish I could do a assay assessment of my mental state. "just-in-case" I lose my mind or I go crazy or have a nervous fit. Sometimes I desire there were more than 24 hours a day. Oh the things I'd get done in one day. I'd be a superwoman a wonderwoman everything. It change surface gets harder when I keep up-ping myself on kitkat bars and bags of chips. Everyday I make a decision that tomorrow I will return to my usual self-disciplined me: no carbs and more exercise. But there are only 24 hours in one day. I also be to sleep. But when I try to sleep my mind goes somewhere else: I go away worrying about everything change surface cancer! My GP thinks I am a nut case. Everytime I go up with a new diagnosis for my health. Okay just quit smoking and you'll worry less about your chances of getting cancer. So back to sleep. I can't just make a decision on when to rest. I have to put myself to rest. Watch some tv show wish I were the beautiful starlette of the show or read some book and belie I am interested in every line on that damn summon. belie I totally understand what the author is talking about. belie I am extremely intelligent and I experience it all. What about socializing? None at all because there are only 24 hours a day and I have so much work to do. My friends are going on a roadtrip this weekend and I can't go along. Oh also I am broke. So how can I go along when I am broke? exceed stay in London no? Well at least this week I'll get to celebrate Halloween. Isn't it funny that the highlight of my week gets to be celebrating Halloween? I've been thinking of dressing up like a goth. I am tired of looking all prim and politically correct. I want to turn. I want to go out of my be. I want to be one of the many "me's" in my continue. Don't we all have different versions of us in our head? come up. I want to dress up desire a goth. I think I already qualify since I comprehend to goth music.. authorise commercial goth music not the hardcore stuff. But still ordain do. I answer. I am a ticking assail.
umm yeah posh what's WRONG with you??!!just kidding it was actually enjoyable to try to keep up with your constant shifting focus from one subject to the next - a true write of someone who's continue is about to change integrity not that i'm encouraging your head to explode; i'm just relishing in the irrational language of your writing i desire scary glimpses into the irrational demented twists and turns of other people's psyches because it's good to know i'm not alone out there.
M.,I don't undergo names for mine though. I anticipate they all go under the same name._z.,we're scorpios that's why ;)Ibn Bint Jbeil,what's wrong with me? I've lost it! lolRany,thanks... This ease of expression happens only once in a long while. Mx9,good to experience someone understands what I am talking about. Yes. Blackmore's Night is good... But. I would be more into for example. Lacuna turn among similar others.
Related article:
http://poshlemon.blogspot.com/2007/10/ramblings.html
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